The Cast Talks Shit - Ep. 57

Jagger is horrified at the Cologuard process

Transcript

SPEAKER_05 0:04

Live from the holiday pools and spa studios, presented by Pete Tonight Altoona. JoJo on the go.

SPEAKER_00 0:14

Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_04 0:19

Good morning. Uh what? Oh, we're live. Hey, good morning. Sorry. Yes, a brand new episode. Welcome to JoJo on the go. To all of our new listeners listening on iHeartRadio, listening on Spotify, uh Roku TV, and our beautiful, valued, precious Facebook subscribers. Subscribe on Facebook for the full experience. Look up JoJo on the go podcasts or JoJo Radio. 99 cents a month, exclusive content, access to the cast things you beyond your wildest dreams for 99 cents. Just like Janna's OnlyFans subscription that we were talking about last episode.

SPEAKER_00 0:58

The membership is pending.

SPEAKER_02 1:00

Could we work that into like an add it on? So if you if you subscribe to the podcast, you get that for free.

SPEAKER_00 1:05

Oh, and I don't even need to bypass OnlyFans because then I'd have to pay them, and I can just do private OnlyFans. Is that what you're saying?

SPEAKER_02 1:13

No, forget it.

SPEAKER_04 1:14

She sounds like way too excited about this opportunity. It's supposed to be done out of desperation and shame.

SPEAKER_00 1:20

I know. I'm just like looking at it as like a creative outlet.

SPEAKER_02 1:24

It's been part of her five-year plan for a while. Here I am.

SPEAKER_00 1:27

You know what I'm trying to, you know how like they try and gentrify like not great neighborhoods? I'm just trying to make like OnlyFans more wholesome and like, oh, well, instead of just what you think it's going to be, I can also just like have good conversations.

SPEAKER_02 1:39

Uh Jana, where do you see yourself in five years? Um, ass up on the internet.

SPEAKER_00 1:46

I mean, it's one of my better physical qualities.

SPEAKER_04 1:50

Let's see. No, it's not committing.

SPEAKER_00 1:53

I'll stand up.

SPEAKER_04 1:54

No. For the subscribers only. Okay. Blur it out for anyone who's not.

SPEAKER_00 1:59

No, because no, because if they if all of a sudden they're gonna be like, oh, it's actually like not. It's not like I have a Brazilian butt, so it's not it's gonna be disappointing, and then I'm gonna have to hear about it. He's already throwing up.

SPEAKER_04 2:08

Like and this ain't gonna help because we're seging into something that Jagger did over the weekend.

SPEAKER_00 2:15

So maybe I should show my butt. It might be more attractive than what he's about to say.

SPEAKER_04 2:18

I don't know. You know, I want to stay on these platforms we finally got on, but at that risk. I mean, we do have the warning of occasional explicit content that boxes checked on our podcast. So uh watch out, little Johnny. I mean, you shouldn't be listening anyway. But Jagger, what did you do exciting uh the past weekend? I don't know whenever someone's listening to this, but uh over the past weekend, Jagger had a very exciting event take place.

SPEAKER_02 2:45

Well, first of all, I told you both this in confidence, so I'm glad we're bringing it up.

SPEAKER_00 2:50

But again, I didn't I I I didn't know anything on our relationship is with in common. Yeah, I didn't think about it. We have we have a podcast like you have Janna's phone number.

SPEAKER_02 3:00

True, subscribers only.

SPEAKER_00 3:01

If you want to do that, fine, I'll tell you I'm getting a breast MRI. Be preventative, ladies.

SPEAKER_04 3:06

There you go. See? If nothing else, we're all about preventative health. Now back to Jagger. We Janna and I are usually the first ones to pop up uh in the recording before we start, and then we wait for the D.Va Jagger to join us on his dial up internet down in the panhandle of Florida. And as soon as he comes on the camera, as if that's not jarring enough, the words out of his mouth are I shit in a box.

SPEAKER_00 3:32

Yeah, yeah. First thing he said to us, we're like, oh, good morning. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 3:37

I was like, what on a dare?

SPEAKER_00 3:38

Yeah, I'm like, I'm like, are like presenting it in a museum? Like, what's happening here?

SPEAKER_04 3:43

Well, I didn't get it at all.

SPEAKER_00 3:45

And then I guess we came in with curiosity.

SPEAKER_04 3:47

Yeah. So now everyone's dying to know why don't you have a toilet?

SPEAKER_02 3:51

So first of all, if you know me at all, you know that any sort of potty talk gets me embarrassed and I don't like to do it.

SPEAKER_04 3:57

Yeah, we we can see that because you didn't have- He literally said I shit in a box to the two of you, not to the millions and millions listening at home.

SPEAKER_02 4:05

He has or the car.

SPEAKER_00 4:06

He has a hat on so he could slowly start putting it over his eyes.

SPEAKER_02 4:09

Is that where the box is hidden? Yes. Um, I am a gentleman of a certain age, and as you know, as you get older, you have to do certain tests. And uh I had an option of either getting a colonoscopy or doing this thing called cola guard, uh, which is much more barbaric than they first allowed me to believe.

SPEAKER_00 4:29

Really? Tell us more.

SPEAKER_04 4:31

Yeah, like you have to hold the box behind you.

SPEAKER_00 4:34

First of all, I I two things. Number one, he just turned 50. So, like, they wasted no time in saying, sir, we need your specimen. That's crazy. Number two, the fact that you use the word barbaric really intrigues me, and I need to know more.

SPEAKER_02 4:48

So uh I actually had the prescription to do this months ago and I procrastinated. I thought you just called and they sent you the box. Well, doctor's order. You get a doctor's order. Oh, I thought anyone could do it.

SPEAKER_00 4:58

You gotta get a doctor's order to shit in a box. I guess you gotta be 50. Insurance won't cover it, otherwise, I'm sure.

SPEAKER_02 5:03

Yeah, so I think you can do it on your own if you want to privately pay for it, but if you want your insurance, you gotta get that doctor's order. So I have been holding off for a little while just because of the sheer magnitude of what this was going to do to my mental health. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:21

I I put it off, it's been in my closet, and I've been getting text messages from Cologard saying, hey, it's time. You guys have that kind of relationship with each other? Yes. I I'm in a talking box of shit. Mm-hmm. I text back, what you doing? You uh so you open this box and it has this plastic container, a jug that you would um, you know, like at the hotel you get ice in.

SPEAKER_00 5:46

Oh God. All right, this is a PS. Do not use your ice bucket.

SPEAKER_04 5:51

No, I just realized those buckets have probably had other things than ice in them just now, too.

SPEAKER_00 5:55

So that's why they give you the little baggie, but also that baggie is probably questionable.

SPEAKER_04 5:59

Oh, son of a bitch. I'm getting ice at the cast station before I go to a hotel.

SPEAKER_00 6:02

That's a good idea.

SPEAKER_04 6:03

Just hold it in your hands right. If I got nothing out of this segment, at least I've learned never to trust that ice bucket.

SPEAKER_00 6:09

But also not for nothing. You probably shouldn't trust the ice machine. You think the filters change in that thing?

SPEAKER_04 6:13

Yeah, well, that's how you get, what is it, Legionnaire's disease? I mean, you've got to be careful. Dirty ice.

SPEAKER_00 6:18

Damn.

SPEAKER_04 6:18

Yeah. So you might have the wrong one. But no disease is good. Anyway, Jagger, back to your primitive shitting in the box story.

SPEAKER_00 6:26

Yeah, please tell us more.

SPEAKER_02 6:27

So stretch it out to 40 minutes. So there's an ice jug uh contraption, but then there's a holder, you put that in, and then you drape that across your toilet seat under the lid, and so then you're trying to position to make sure that you know that.

SPEAKER_00 6:44

So it's like a retirement home.

SPEAKER_02 6:46

Well, you w you want the holes to meet up because you don't want anything on the side of this situation.

SPEAKER_01 6:51

Man.

SPEAKER_02 6:53

And then the commercial. The performance anxiety. No, the performance anxiety is real. Now I'm sitting on sitting on this thing for 45 minutes, scrolling on my phone, trying to hopefully something's gonna happen here to get this sample that I need to send off. Um, and finally, uh I'm trying not to get too graphic, but it's not as impressive as a movement as you would normally have.

SPEAKER_04 7:21

Thank god his dialogue internet's cutting off.

SPEAKER_00 7:23

I was gonna say perfect timing.

SPEAKER_04 7:24

Perfect timing for your internet to kick off.

SPEAKER_02 7:27

The audience is like, oh, thank god. I fixed my internet, it's still a problem.

SPEAKER_04 7:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:32

No, only for the right time. It was.

SPEAKER_04 7:34

Yeah, it really like at the worst possible moment of what you're about to say, it cuts you out.

SPEAKER_00 7:39

Thank God.

SPEAKER_02 7:40

So yeah, I was just saying it wasn't as impressive a sample as you would normally get. Uh impressive. We have high standards.

SPEAKER_00 7:47

All right, so this is such a man thing. So just like you guys measure your junk, you're measuring your poop size and being like, look what I did.

SPEAKER_02 7:53

Yeah. No, not not necessarily that. It's just I want to make sure that I get enough to get a result. Accurate sample. I don't want yeah, I don't want to have to do this again. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 8:05

Like when they take your blood and they're like, it's coming out slow. You're like, well, that means I'm dehydrated. There goes my kidney numbers.

SPEAKER_00 8:10

Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 8:10

I don't want a text saying, uh, nice try, Chief. Yeah. Give it another shot.

SPEAKER_04 8:16

So then you Can you imagine if your shit isn't good enough for the shit company?

SPEAKER_00 8:20

Oh man.

SPEAKER_04 8:20

And then there's a little stick you gotta scrape.

SPEAKER_00 8:23

Yeah, you gotta scrape it.

SPEAKER_02 8:25

Oh, come on. All right, yeah. Then it goes. It goes in a tube. Forget it. There's a liquid solution.

SPEAKER_00 8:34

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 8:35

Oh, you have to pour in the bucket. Do you shake it in positive or negative?

SPEAKER_00 8:39

Okay, I'm gonna start gagging.

SPEAKER_02 8:41

You poured in the ice bucket with the sample, so now you've got soup. It's like some shit scientist. And then you got you screw the lid on.

SPEAKER_00 8:53

All right, we're we're get it. We get it. This is not what we're understanding. You put it in the box.

SPEAKER_02 8:57

So my empathies for the mailman. Here's the payoff. I wish it was the mailman. You can't even put it in your mailbox and put the flag up. You have to walk this into UPS.

SPEAKER_03 9:08

Oh my god!

SPEAKER_02 9:12

The UPS guy sees me coming across the parking lot, evidently, and has a plastic bag ready when I went off.

SPEAKER_00 9:21

Oh, so he knew what you were bringing. Oh, that's sad. Oh, I feel bad for you.

SPEAKER_02 9:26

And I didn't even have to say words. He's like, put it right here. Just coming up to him and this thing's uh he's a professional. He held it up like Horton to get a colonoscopy.

SPEAKER_04 9:40

If you learn nothing from this segment, which you probably shouldn't have, it is important to get the colonoscopy or do what Jagger did, if that sounds like your cup of tea.

SPEAKER_01 9:48

Totally.

SPEAKER_04 9:49

I went the medical route of having the actual colonoscopy. And I would do it again right now, just for the sleep quality that you get while it's happening. It is the best sleep I've ever had. Yeah. There is absolutely nothing felt. It was like, all right, so we're gonna do it, and I count backwards, and there was I didn't get one number out. And then I'm just like, wait, when are you guys gonna do it? And like, you're done. And it was the best sleep I ever had. Then it's a much more civilized process. Yeah, and I don't have to do some weird handoff to the UPS person in a parking lot somewhere.

SPEAKER_00 10:23

Yeah, my mom and sister-in-law were talking about colonoscopies this weekend too, so I guess there's something in the water that everybody's uh everybody's hounded for. But my mom, she's had two failed ones because the woman won't because she won't finish the solution that you have to do. She's like, Oh yeah, the prep I can't do it. I forgot about that. I'm saying to her, I'm like, but you do realize then you have to do it again, and it's just gonna make it worse. Like, but she's like a child, she just can't down it. I'm like, come on now.

SPEAKER_04 10:49

Tell her about Colegard.

SPEAKER_00 10:51

I I will let her know.

SPEAKER_04 10:52

It's a rough night the night before the procedure in that prep. Yeah. So I've heard it's like like a whole jug of mirroracs and five dolkalacs, and and you mix it with Gatorade. I just took the whole picture and just guzzled it.

SPEAKER_00 11:06

I don't know, but people also said, like when I was pregnant, about like um the uh glucose test, they said, Oh, that's disgusting too. And I actually liked it, so I wouldn't be surprised if I'm the one person that like eventually goes for a colonoscopy. In 16 years, by the way, when I turn 50. Um, but imagine I like it and I just down it.

SPEAKER_04 11:26

I mean, I should be recommending a colonoscopy for cancer prevention, but I'm recommending it for a good sleep.

SPEAKER_00 11:32

A good sleep.

SPEAKER_01 11:34

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 11:35

And if you have health insurance, that's free, good sleep. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 11:38

Right.

SPEAKER_04 11:39

And I feel for anyone who is in that room during the procedure, yeah, I can imagine that uh, do you ever have questions as to like why someone would want to do a specific profession? Maybe they're driven to rid the world of cancer. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 11:53

No, I mean like I I could see that aspect of it. I think with a lot of uh doctors in certain areas of the medical realm that they they probably have either a history of someone they know that suffered from that, or maybe they just want to help people generally, and then they're like, wow, I met a really good patient, and so I want to go into that practice. But sometimes I bet there's some people that they're just like either I don't know, or I want the money, or um, maybe I like buttholes. I don't know. I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 12:22

Because it takes a lot to become a doctor, right? There's a lot of learnings and you have to decide what your specialty is gonna be. You've got options, and and people decide to do that one. I get like, yeah, why?

SPEAKER_00 12:33

Um That's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_04 12:35

Here's a question, Jagger. How long is it gonna take now that you've mailed this box and somewhere in America this box with your gift is floating around? Um, get the results.

SPEAKER_01 12:47

No.

SPEAKER_02 12:49

So yes, that'd be great. Oh the the results are back, actually. So it it only took maybe a week. Uh so and I got actually a text a text message with the link. So it's real easy. So if you can get through it, if you're not grossed out by that stuff like I am, uh it's a definitely a good alternative for for folks in all seriousness for men's health. You gotta get this done one way or the other, whether it's a colonoscopy, whether it's the cola guard, you gotta get checked. Yeah. Because if you find something early and get that early detection, you're much more likely to have a great outcome.

SPEAKER_04 13:22

There is debate about how accurate the box method is. There's uh some discussion that it's not as accurate. It could give a false positive.

SPEAKER_02 13:31

That's true. And what the doctor told me was at your age, at only well, 49 at the time, 50 as when I actually did it, that uh it's good enough for now. Um that if it's there's a chance for a false positive or false negative, but it's not enough of a chance that it's super risky.

SPEAKER_04 13:51

So See, if you actually get it done by a doctor, when he's in there, he does cleanup. That's not happening when you're doing the box method. Like for me, there there were some things that could have become cancer that he got rid of. The box doesn't do that for you. I never thought that I'd be hosting a podcast episode about this. I've started to do that. We're actually Coligard is our new big sponsor because we're uh free on so many platforms now.

SPEAKER_00 14:24

Um You know what's so funny though? When I watch these commercials, whether it's Colagaard or Trizepotite or whatever, first of all, it's hilarious to me. They always give like the full name and it really sounds like a venero. It's got to be a single time. Right. And then they're always like four out of five doctors. And I'm thinking to myself, so like, who's the one doctor that said no to this? Like, why why do we feel the need to sell that it's like four out of five doctors? Like, no one's questioning why the one doctor, like maybe they're trying to tell us, hey, don't do this.

SPEAKER_04 14:53

I always wondered that about crest toothpaste. It's like four out of five doctors, like crest toothpaste. It's like what the fifth doctor didn't get a check?

SPEAKER_00 15:00

I understand CYA. Like, if you're saying this is 99% effective, because you you can't say 100% unless it's a hundred percent, right? That opens you up. But like if you're saying four out of five, like maybe that person is saying it because they're trying to like be the whistleblower to something bad. Right.

SPEAKER_04 15:15

Maybe the one who said no is like onto something and the other four just sell it. Right.

SPEAKER_00 15:19

I also find it hilarious in those. I literally pay very too much attention to these commercials because um I also think it's funny when they're like, if you're allergic to trisepotide, don't take trisepatide.

SPEAKER_04 15:31

I think it's funny that you won't watch any of the documentaries that Jagger and I watch and discuss in our podcast group, but you watch prescription commercials.

SPEAKER_00 15:38

Well, no, I don't even have like TV, but you know, everything has an ad nowadays. Like every you can watch YouTube, you can listen to Spotify. I mean, I have Spotify premium because my kid needs music when she needs music, but like uh if like you're watching YouTube, you're getting ads.

SPEAKER_04 15:53

So they just people getting this show for free or are they subliminal.

SPEAKER_02 15:57

Yeah. See, I was gonna say um similar that Janna can't be bothered to watch a 30-minute JoJo on the go episode, but she's all up on the drug commercials. Memorizing the disclaimers.

SPEAKER_00 16:11

Fixating on the fact that four out of five doctors say it's okay. Hey Jagger.

SPEAKER_02 16:15

Two out of three hosts recommend this podcast.

SPEAKER_00 16:19

Oh. You should probably listen to the one that doesn't.

SPEAKER_04 16:27

Oh, what the hell? I'm sorry, just going through my notes here to find anything that doesn't concern Fox and shit or anything like that. Oh my gosh. Horrific documentaries. We never really got into we mentioned that we saw Sky King, hashtag Sky King, but we never Yeah, so what's the premise of that? The premise is, and you know, this is real life, this guy was a baggage handler for an airline making less than minimum wage because I guess the airline was crying poverty and and somehow they got away with paying their employees less than minimum wage.

SPEAKER_01 17:00

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 17:01

And this can't be an easy job, right? I mean, everybody's suitcases eight plus hours a day, it's dangerous. You're right next to a plane, could it like blender blades? Well, I guess one day, one day this guy's just like, all right, and he gets in the plane, which by the way, people are amazed because it takes two people to accomplish what he did. He somehow gets into the plane and gets it on the runway and takes off into the sky. He has no pilot's experience whatsoever, never flown a plane, never did a flight simulation. At one point, they're like, Do you have any flying experience? He's like, I played video games.

SPEAKER_00 17:38

Wait, and there were passengers on the plane?

SPEAKER_04 17:40

No, there were no passengers, but it was a passenger plane. Like it was a I think it was a jet, or you know, it was a it was a plane plane, if you will. Um Canadian jets.

SPEAKER_00 17:49

Oh my god, he has his own death sentence lined up, clearly.

SPEAKER_04 17:52

And he's like, Yeah, yeah, it's real, it's real beautiful up here. Uh, I think I'm gonna go check out the Olympics, and that sends off like the the alarm bells to everybody. Like, what's this guy gonna do? And then he goes, Hey, because he's talking to the the tower. Yeah, he goes, Do you think this thing can do a barrel roll? Oh, look at that. And they're like, No, please don't, please don't try that. And I I won't say anything further, but he tried the barrel roll. He does try it. He does try it.

SPEAKER_00 18:18

Oh my god, see, that's probably one I won't watch because uh uh I don't like planes as it is, and I don't need any more of a reason to not get on a plane.

SPEAKER_04 18:28

Yeah, the thought that you're on a plane where the pilot suddenly just loses it.

SPEAKER_00 18:34

Yeah.

unknown 18:35

Right.

SPEAKER_04 18:36

I just put that in your head for fun, Jasmine.

SPEAKER_00 18:38

Yeah, no, that's that is a fear. But I mean that's why they have a copilot, but also that copilot, I mean, they could get taken out real quick.

SPEAKER_04 18:45

Oh gosh.

SPEAKER_00 18:46

I'm just saying.

SPEAKER_04 18:47

I also wonder like how hard is it to fly a plane if having never done it? That's what I was thinking.

SPEAKER_00 18:53

Well, I don't want you to find out. If if we get a sponsor for a plane like it's one thing, again bringing a plane sponsor, right? So like JoJo worldwide, you're doing stuff with Harley Davidson. Cool. Okay, you know, riding a motorcycle, all right. Still dangerous, very dangerous, still requires skill. Riding a plane is a totally different beast. If we ever got a sponsorship of a plane, I would suggest highly like we're not partaking in that.

SPEAKER_04 19:17

I jumped out of one. I don't care.

SPEAKER_00 19:19

I want to do that. I do want to do that, and I also would love to go in a um a hot air balloon.

SPEAKER_04 19:25

I heard that was more dangerous.

SPEAKER_00 19:27

Yeah, I hear it is too. I would love to do it, though.

SPEAKER_04 19:29

But you want to do it? Like you're in the the basket Dorothy had in the Wizard of Oz when she's tralalay down the yellow brick road with a hot air balloon over you. Yeah, that's not fun. It's like I know.

SPEAKER_00 19:40

It probably isn't romantic. You know, they say that it's just beautiful up there. I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 19:44

How do you hear it of the raging flame above your head?

SPEAKER_00 19:47

That's a fair point. Maybe it's not enjoyable at all.

SPEAKER_02 19:49

Maybe it's terrifying.

SPEAKER_00 19:50

Maybe it's not worth the hype.

SPEAKER_02 19:52

I think, Jenna, you should go and hijack a hot air balloon for the show. Yeah. I wouldn't know how to turn it on.

SPEAKER_00 19:57

I can barely turn on the propane tank on my barbecue.

SPEAKER_04 20:00

Just point your mouth up and blow into it. It'll heat up.

SPEAKER_02 20:03

Hashtag Skyqueen.

SPEAKER_00 20:07

I'll be like, uh, puff the magic dragon. Can this thing do a barrel roll?

SPEAKER_02 20:12

Yeah, and look, Jojo will be on the microphone and be like, Jenna, uh, are you thinking about landing?

SPEAKER_00 20:16

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_02 20:17

And Jen will say, well, I hadn't really thought that far ahead about landing.

SPEAKER_00 20:21

How does one land this? Um, you know what's the one thing that I have been watching a lot of lately? So um I've been watching SNL, but clips. And it's blowing up my um algorithm on YouTube, and I'm really enjoying it because like I love improv so much, but I never really watch full episodes of SNL. Like it's very rare.

SPEAKER_04 20:41

And also I'm just gonna musical guests if I do.

SPEAKER_00 20:43

Oh, really? I feel like they're good. Well, unless I really like that late on a Saturday night, so I'm usually watching the clips. Right. So uh, but lately I'm just watching like hilarious clips, and oh my god, some of them are just gold. And I love the ones where like either the actors or the guests crack. Like that to me is the ultimate. Like I missed my calling. All I wanted to do was be an improv. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 21:08

We're not supposed to like uh lose it. I speaking of which, I also saw an SNL skit on my reels where I was supposed to be getting out of bed, but just laying there depressed.

SPEAKER_00 21:18

Um, it was Wait, should we stop or should we keep going, Jagger?

SPEAKER_04 21:22

Keep going. It's fine.

SPEAKER_00 21:23

Okay. All right, we're looking past your mental health issues, go.

SPEAKER_04 21:26

Yeah, you've been looking past them for months. So why start now focusing? No, so this uh the the guy comes out of the living room, his parents are there, grandma's sleeping, and uh they the dad's like, Oh, my back hurts. Would you mind going down there and getting me? And he goes down, opens up the door, and he's like, What is what are these tapes? And like, oh, those are home videos. And she's like, Yeah, your father taped everything. And so they're watching, and it's nice. The kid's like three at the playground, and then he sees one uh video tape and he goes, What's this one? And it's like, Oh, this is when we found out. We were gonna be uh having you. And he puts it in and it's called like the Rory Movich show.

SPEAKER_03 22:06

Oh no. The dude's dad is sitting there, yo, that ain't my kid, that ain't my kid, and then the guy saw the cast like I never saw that one.

SPEAKER_00 22:16

Wait, who's the who's in it? Is there uh a celeb there or no?

SPEAKER_04 22:20

I didn't just get one of note. I mean, not that the character names aren't of note, I just don't have them memorized, but no, but the cast ones are still great.

SPEAKER_00 22:27

I'm gonna look that one up.

SPEAKER_04 22:29

Yeah, and then it's like Well, let's bring out Leroy.

SPEAKER_03 22:35

The guy's like Leroy.

SPEAKER_00 22:38

You know, I just I I feel like, and this this could also tie back into Jagger's failed attempt at being um a stand-up comic, but what I appreciate that's a try to fail hiatus. Okay, what I appreciate about comedy the way it should be is that comics make fun of everybody. Everything is fair game, and that's what I feel like is missing in today's society is that reminder that, like, hey, we're all being laughed at, and that's okay. So I love that.

SPEAKER_01 23:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:08

And that works on TV, but sometimes in real life, when like I'm making fun of people in real life, it's not always well received by the those around me.

SPEAKER_00 23:16

So no, that that that does make sense. And you know, that's just that's just a uh societal problem.

SPEAKER_04 23:23

I'm like, hey, it's comedy. Yeah, it's actually Jagger's full-time job is walking around making fun of people on a tight schedule. I wish. Yeah. But you are gonna be doing more uh on-the-street interaction with the general public? We are for season two. We're kicking that up uh quite a bit. Season two that Jagger's made up that we're now in.

SPEAKER_02 23:43

I love it. We gotta have seasons.

SPEAKER_00 23:45

I love it.

SPEAKER_02 23:45

Okay, well, when do the seasons start and stop?

SPEAKER_04 23:47

Because I I never got the media.

SPEAKER_00 23:49

Yeah, we need a heads up. How many episodes per season?

SPEAKER_02 23:51

Roughly six months, 55 episodes. You know, it's not a science, it's an art.

SPEAKER_04 23:58

Damn. So you have no idea.

SPEAKER_02 24:01

You just I imagine season two will probably go through the end of the year, and then we'll start season three.

SPEAKER_04 24:06

Uh so there's two seasons, and each one is six months? Roughly. It's an art. It's an art.

SPEAKER_00 24:11

Maybe you need to sit in on the board meetings at Netflix and understand how this works.

SPEAKER_04 24:15

Yeah, man, because we could be getting away with like three episodes every three years and have people pay $19 a month. This business model I have sucks.

SPEAKER_02 24:22

Maybe you need to sit down on the shut up board for a minute.

SPEAKER_00 24:25

I'm already on it. That's the problem. Getting nothing done.

SPEAKER_02 24:29

We're gonna be doing some more street stunts. I'm working on some uh some getting some additional technology uh that will allow me to have some more point of view cam type stuff. Uh you mean a GoPro? Stop being so extra. Well, the glasses with the little hole in them. I'm going meta? Yes, yes, yes, yes.

SPEAKER_04 24:47

For subscribers only.

SPEAKER_02 24:49

Subscribers only, yes. So if you're a Facebook subscriber, you're 99 cents, it's gonna be worth it. We're gonna have so much more uh subscriber-only content coming up this season.

SPEAKER_04 24:58

If you're listening, you're missing because this is a full video podcast. We have guests on, we've got you know props. I there's all kinds of stuff that you you can't see. Well, we want you to listen and enjoy the show. We would love you to come over, find uh Jojo on the go on Facebook and subscribe for 99 cents a month. So whether you're on iHeart or watching us on Roku or listening on Spotify or whatever the case may be, the premium package is on Facebook. Just look up Jojo on the go. Big shout out to our sponsors, Jagger. You want to give some love to Pizza Night, even though they won't give you a bowl?

SPEAKER_02 25:35

I love Pizza Night and I've been begging for stromboli. I just want one freeze-dried or whatever you do, frozen strong. Freeze dried. You want a freeze-dried stromboli? You knew that I made a mistake when I said that. Thanks for calling it out.

SPEAKER_00 25:48

I do have freeze-dried food in my garage. I'm ready for the apocalypse.

SPEAKER_04 25:51

What are you doing, a spaceman? I'm just preparing. Do you have freeze-dried food?

SPEAKER_00 25:54

Because I am a um scavenger. I'm a scavenger. What is that called? Oh.

SPEAKER_04 25:59

So you're a doomsday prepper.

SPEAKER_00 26:00

I basically am.

SPEAKER_04 26:02

You have the weirdest priorities. What the hell kind of freeze-dried food do you have?

SPEAKER_00 26:06

I bought one of those, like the uh the what are they called?

SPEAKER_02 26:09

Umergency meal kits.

SPEAKER_00 26:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 26:11

I bought like those Alex Jones buckets.

SPEAKER_00 26:15

Yeah, I got like 200 meals.

SPEAKER_06 26:16

Infowars.com.com.

SPEAKER_00 26:18

They're good for 30 years. So now I'm thinking, so if I get close to the 30 years, if I get close to the 30 years and like there's no apocalypse, do I just eat them for fun?

SPEAKER_04 26:28

Or like buy a bucket now to get a free gambling more fit. It's a listen, don't oversell her prep bucket. It's a it's a Halloween plastic trick-or-treat bucket with a can of fan. Yeah. And a pack of Ritz crackers.

SPEAKER_00 26:41

No, but I also have an emergency bag ready to go at any point if I have to leave, where um like I have a change of clothes for my daughter and I. I have like a protective blanket. I have uh a fire starter.

SPEAKER_04 26:55

I have a water filter, I have a knife.

SPEAKER_00 26:57

Like, I'm I'm ready. Yeah, I'm ready.

SPEAKER_04 27:00

Where are you gonna go?

SPEAKER_00 27:02

Oh, I don't know. Maybe just my roof. Maybe that's the best Sit on a roof in the go bag.

SPEAKER_02 27:08

Here's one place you don't have to escape. It's pizza night. Yeah they have wonderful deals, Sicilian Thursdays. They have uh a steak strong bowling. Yeah, put that in your go bag.

SPEAKER_00 27:18

I want to recommend to them a product, by the way.

SPEAKER_02 27:20

Okay. Freeze-dried pizza.

SPEAKER_00 27:22

No, a breakfast bowling. Like bacon and egg.

SPEAKER_04 27:26

Now you're making these people get up at 6 a.m. just for you?

SPEAKER_00 27:29

No, but like breakfast for dinner is really good.

SPEAKER_04 27:32

Yeah, you're right. I feel like it could be really good.

SPEAKER_00 27:34

Throw in a hatch brown too. Ooh.

SPEAKER_04 27:37

All right, well, there you go. Uh pizza night now serving breakfast. No, just kidding. They're not. They're not serving breakfast.

SPEAKER_00 27:42

Tell them Dan a banana sent you, and they might.

SPEAKER_04 27:45

They'll be showing up at 9 a.m. looking for a pizza McMuffin.

SPEAKER_00 27:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 27:49

Um, Jack. I have another idea of pizza night special. Stay open. Sorry.

SPEAKER_02 27:53

Stay open for 24 hours. Why not? Let's be all night.

SPEAKER_04 27:57

Yeah. Yeah, nothing's open 24 hours anymore. Do you notice that? Like Walmart used to be open 24 hours. The grocery store used to be open. Now everyone's like closed at 8. Thanks, COVID.

SPEAKER_00 28:06

And yet, and yet employment and pay is like down. Like, just make it make sense. How we used to pay people to stay open all hours of the night, but now we don't. Like, but people aren't getting paid more. It makes no sense.

SPEAKER_02 28:20

And if you're not getting paid more, take advantage of Pizza Night's deal. $6.99 mix and match deals. You can get some great food at a low price right there, Pizza Night, Beale Avenue, Blair County. I don't have the number in front of me. Somebody else say that.

SPEAKER_00 28:32

It's 814-743. Oh my god. You're wrong. I just blanked.

SPEAKER_04 28:37

81494.

SPEAKER_00 28:38

943-7000. I sorry. I blocked.

SPEAKER_04 28:41

814-943-7000.

SPEAKER_00 28:43

I'm actually really thinking about this breakfast bully, and I feel like I hope they'll take me up on the offer.

SPEAKER_04 28:48

They're more likely to cancel their sponsorship.

SPEAKER_02 28:50

I just got an email from Pizza Knight. Breaking news. Pizza Knight says, Janna, don't talk over the phone number. Okay. Got it.

SPEAKER_00 28:57

814-943-8000. First of all, both of you can suck it because I'm the only one that knows that phone number in and out.

SPEAKER_04 29:05

Yeah, you know in and out all right.

SPEAKER_00 29:07

I sure do, baby.

SPEAKER_04 29:09

Also, shout out to Triluna Royal Cleaning when you eat your pizza and spill it all over the floor by accident. You can call Triluna Royal Cleaning and they'll come and take care of it for you. Real nice and good. They do residential business. And I even have him signed up for a bloodborne pathogens class. Nice. So that he can then clean up crime scenes.

SPEAKER_00 29:29

Oh, excellent. It's great.

SPEAKER_04 29:30

I'm trying to expand his business. And uh so yes, try Luna Royal Cleaning. Reach out to them at 814-895-3038. That's 814-895-3038. Yeah, don't come near me. I'll sell you something from the Red Cross. You better watch out. All right, why not?

SPEAKER_00 29:49

Just like I have wanted Jagger to uh try and sell us on his um stand-up, which hasn't happened. Pitch to me right now. Sell me a CPR kit or something.

SPEAKER_03 30:01

I can't do it in real life. What do we do?

SPEAKER_04 30:02

Oh man, I look at the graph every day of performance of people all over the country, and my name's trustedly at the bottom.

SPEAKER_00 30:10

Come on, we're talking SNL. We're talking about.

SPEAKER_04 30:12

So you have a child, right, Jana?

SPEAKER_00 30:13

I do.

SPEAKER_04 30:14

So what are you gonna do?

SPEAKER_00 30:16

I already have a life vac. I have a life vac.

SPEAKER_04 30:18

A what?

SPEAKER_00 30:19

A life vac. So if she chokes, I can just yank it right out of here.

SPEAKER_04 30:22

Okay. What if her heart stops?

SPEAKER_00 30:24

Uh yeah, I'll do chest compressions until All right.

SPEAKER_04 30:26

I'll sign you up for adult pediatric CPR AED and I'll take a payment right now of $129. Oh, so also you're gonna want to be prepared in case she has an allergic reaction. I'm gonna sell you an online course of how to do the epinephrine.

SPEAKER_00 30:42

How to provide uh Benadryl, basically. Yeah. Okay, got it. So do you have pets? Oh, he just he just goes right in. Uh yeah, I've got two cats.

SPEAKER_04 30:50

All right, I'm gonna sign you up for the cat dog rescue online class. They can pay five dollars. It's a very love your pets enough. It's a very aggressive salesman.

SPEAKER_00 30:57

I was just about to say no, and and here's I'm gonna sell you this, brother. So here's my question because I've attempted sales one time. I was actually trying, I was a personal trainer, and then they're like, Oh, honey, oh, you're so sweet. No, this is a sales job. And I was like, Nope, not for me. I'm like, I'm here to actually like train people, so I'm out. But Jagger, you are a salesman as well. My dad's a salesman, my ex-husband is a salesman. I do think it takes a certain type of person to be a salesman. And I know everyone has their own stick. Um, is is this an effective way of saying, like, not not, oh, well, are you interested in this or this and that? Like asking something about them, them divulging questions. Discovery questions, and then saying, Great, this is what I'm giving you, and not even giving it an option and then waiting for them to respond.

SPEAKER_02 31:43

So you learn you learned a little something from the men in your life. That's great. It's nice.

SPEAKER_00 31:48

I'm I'm asking, is that is this effective? Yeah. Oh, that's good.

SPEAKER_04 31:51

You're supposed to find out about them if you hear a dog barking in the duck in the background.

SPEAKER_00 31:55

You're like, oh, well, yeah, activistic is important.

SPEAKER_04 31:58

Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 31:59

I feel I feel pressured though. I feel pressured. I I I will let my kid die. Sorry.

SPEAKER_04 32:06

It is good to take a life-saving class. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 32:08

No.

SPEAKER_02 32:09

Yeah, I do have a question though. On those CPR dummies, are they anatomically correct or no?

SPEAKER_04 32:14

Uh no. And now like the top half. We don't need the legs, I don't think, unless we're doing wilderness training, which by the way, Jagger, you need because you're out there in shark-infested waters and uh piranhas and things in the woods. So we'll get you signed up for that too. Perfect. Also, Janna, you need a first aid kit for every room in your home, so I'll get 12 of those going.

SPEAKER_00 32:36

Is that the standard for life?

SPEAKER_02 32:38

When I'm selling to you, it is.

SPEAKER_00 32:40

Oh, okay. I was like, I'm lucky if I have band-aids in my house.

SPEAKER_02 32:43

In the Hamptons, that's a HOA requirement.

SPEAKER_04 32:47

So once a week, I have a meeting where we get to, you know, when I got out of radio, I thought I wouldn't have to sit down and hear myself anymore in front of a boss, but once a week I have a meeting and they play back one of my calls. And lucky me, like all of corporate decided to listen to this one call and it was me. And in the whole call, I'm going, have you gone to the website? Redcross. Have you gone to the website? And like they pause and and they're like, Are you just trying to send them to our website? I was like, I don't know. I didn't think I had what she needed.

SPEAKER_02 33:23

That's like muscle memory from the podcast. You want to send everybody to the website for all the details.

SPEAKER_04 33:28

Check the website.

SPEAKER_00 33:29

Yeah. It is a reliable source.

SPEAKER_04 33:32

Oh, that's where all my clothes went. Thank you. I'm sorry, my staff was just handing me all my airdrobe uniforms.

SPEAKER_00 33:40

You have to try Luna Cleaning coming down with your laundry uniform in the basement?

SPEAKER_04 33:45

That's actually my wife and her nightgown. Do you want to just get on a camera and show everyone?

SPEAKER_00 33:49

I don't think she does.

SPEAKER_04 33:50

Oh, yeah. I mean, you walked in front of me.

SPEAKER_00 33:55

I didn't even know people still wore nightgowns. I mean, I just sleep in like my underwear.

SPEAKER_04 34:00

They all want to say hi.

unknown 34:02

But my hair is a mess.

SPEAKER_00 34:03

Let her go. Your hair is a mess. Let her go.

SPEAKER_04 34:07

Yeah, I'm recording. It's a podcast.

SPEAKER_02 34:10

Generally, what we do.

SPEAKER_04 34:12

What the hell do you think? I'm sitting down here in the dark for it. Think I'm excited to work at the Red Cross in four hours? Actually, I should come down four hours early with all the logins I have to do. It's amazing the security. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 34:25

Multi-factor authentication is real. Who's gonna break in to do my job? I know.

SPEAKER_02 34:30

I just think it's funny you're still getting air checked.

SPEAKER_00 34:33

That is hilarious, actually. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 34:36

I think my wife just cursed at me. I couldn't tell.

SPEAKER_00 34:38

I remember those fears of like going into a meeting with your um like PM and then just like sitting there and being like, or a PD and being like, okay, and then listen to your uh your uh Yeah, and radio uh That's a lot of pressure.

SPEAKER_04 34:52

Work that they which you probably haven't if you're listening to this. Uh they yeah, they'll do this thing where they have you come in and you have to sit there in front of your program director, who usually knows less than you. Yes. And they critique, you know, your segments and they or they'll play it and they'll stop and they'll be like, now how now what did you think about that? And I'm like, well, I guess I liked it because I said it.

SPEAKER_00 35:14

Right.

SPEAKER_04 35:14

And that didn't go over very well.

SPEAKER_00 35:16

Well, you know, sometimes when I'm like looking back, because uh a lot of the work that I do, my healing, is going back to like my childhood and like what might have prompted certain things. And I think about the fact that since a very young age, I did theater and then I did radio and I did all these things that required like live criticism, right? And I'm like, oh, that might explain my people please, yeah, married uh someone allegedly. That wasn't good for me. But um, yeah, I feel like that that definitely explains a lot. Like just sitting there and like having to take things under fire of like uh, oh, this is how you look, this is how you sound, this is this. And I'm like, that definitely explains a lot of like why I might be defensive or I might like just comply with someone because I'm trying to like make them happy, and I'm like, oh shit.

SPEAKER_04 36:06

And I feel like I need to put a disclaimer on my uh story about uh my Red Cross and what I do because it is a nonprofit organization. Yes. Uh I'll get calls and people will want classes and they'll be like, how come they're not free? Or uh, you know, people might be listening and be like, wait a minute, what does he talk about? So the money that gets brought in from the classes and the Red Cross store, that money is used to respond to disasters all over the world. So it is nonprofit, and that's where the money goes. So I just want to be clear about that.

SPEAKER_00 36:41

Yeah, no, and and yeah, if you don't buy, you're an ass.

SPEAKER_04 36:44

Yeah, exactly. If you're not signing up with me, do you really love the planet?

SPEAKER_00 36:50

That's a great sell. Great sell.

SPEAKER_04 36:52

Maybe I'll try that one today.

SPEAKER_00 36:53

Yeah. Let us know how to do that.

SPEAKER_04 36:54

Just get like super aggressive with my sales.

SPEAKER_00 36:57

Yeah, do one day where you're like that and then uh yeah, and then see like if they pull those calls. I bet they won't.

SPEAKER_04 37:04

No, I I you know, actually, I did upsell somebody at a first aid kit last week, and I was very proud of myself and told my boss immediately. And they're like, okay. Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 37:14

It's the ones you want. Well, it's the same thing with any work, right? Like, because I I get files pulled, um, and you know, I'm doing audits of of my people's files all the time. And it's always like the one where like you can't um cherry pick which ones you want chosen. It's just you have to have the proper behaviors most of the time and hope for the best.

SPEAKER_02 37:32

Exactly. And then you take your wins to the boss and say, Please love me.

SPEAKER_00 37:35

Right. I do think also a sell might be for you because when you just said first aid, it kind of sounded like first date. So I feel like you can like finagle away into that.

SPEAKER_02 37:45

You can confuse people into buying.

SPEAKER_01 37:47

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 37:48

Make make it romanticize, romanticize what you're selling, is what that's what I would do. But I'm not a salesman.

SPEAKER_04 37:54

So I think I was like 18 or 19. I took a job um calling people at night at dinner time to get them to subscribe to the newspaper.

SPEAKER_00 38:03

Yeah, that never works.

SPEAKER_04 38:04

And uh I may or may not have every time a kid answered, just sign them up because I said, like, do you want the newspaper? And they'd be like, Yeah. And I'm just like ring the bell like I got a sale because Perfect.

SPEAKER_01 38:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 38:16

At the time that you didn't take payment over the phone or anything. You just got a bill in the mail. So if like an eight-year-old picked up, I'd just sign them up for a year in the newspaper.

SPEAKER_00 38:25

But then you didn't deliver the papers because remember, you got all the papers and then just never brought them.

SPEAKER_04 38:31

Yeah. They've had a difficult time in the newspaper industry. I would like to congratulate you guys, though. We are nominated for hometown favorite uh media personalities for the Jojo on the go podcast in central Pennsylvania.

SPEAKER_00 38:45

Oh my god. Congratulations. We've buried the lead. We just went through 40 minutes of an episode.

SPEAKER_02 38:51

That's not me and Jojo.

SPEAKER_00 38:53

The great thing is, there's like seven nominees. There's your title for this episode, Jagger.

SPEAKER_04 38:58

There's seven, seven or so nominees, and like three or four of them are us, but like with differently spelled names. So I think our chances are pretty good. That's cool. Yeah. Congratulations. Finally, we'll get we'll get flown out.

SPEAKER_00 39:15

Jagger, we're gonna get flown out for the uh award ceremony.

SPEAKER_04 39:17

Not perfect. Yeah. No, I expect you to be here and represent just give us the day. Represent us.

SPEAKER_00 39:24

Give us the day. I gotta make sure I uh custody arrangements are in.

SPEAKER_04 39:28

It'll be in November.

SPEAKER_00 39:28

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 39:30

What season will that be, Jagger?

SPEAKER_02 39:32

Still season two. Late season two. Roughly episode 78.

SPEAKER_00 39:36

Oh man. Well, I feel like I want to go celebrate because a nomination is a win to me.

SPEAKER_04 39:40

So let's go celebrate. All right. Thank you. Don't forget, tell your friends, subscribe on Facebook, keep us in business. Thank you for listening to Jojo on the go. I'm Jojo.

SPEAKER_00 39:49

I'm Jenna. And he's gone.

SPEAKER_04 39:52

I'm Jagger. I'm Jagger. All right.

SPEAKER_07 40:00

Jojo on the Go is presented by Pizza.

SPEAKER_01 40:03

Get the stove and the dishes and make tonight a pizza night.

SPEAKER_07 40:07

Wait for order. Call 814-943-7000.

SPEAKER_06 40:13

Thank you to our sponsors, Holiday Pools and Spa, Dry Luna Royal Cleaner, and Parlor Donut.

SPEAKER_05 40:21

A fresh new episode of JoJo on the go is coming soon from the Holiday Pools and Spa studios. In the meantime, head to JojoWorldwide.com for merchandise, mobile DJ services, bonus content, social media links, and even more ways to listen to the