The Cast Has Cheap Hose - Ep. 53

Transcript

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Live from the holiday pools in Spa Studios, presented by Pizza Knight Altoona. JoJo on the go. Keep going, guys. But the fact that the uh episodes start to stop people bragging about how you lived in New York or live in New York, but please entertain the pumpkins like me with your fun stories about taking the elderly. There you go. You know, I actually spent the last two weekends in Manhattan. I mentioned it, I think, to you guys. No, that like for my birthday, people were getting me Broadway show tickets. So because that's what did I not mention that? Were they? I get like a show. I got a backyard barbecue. I mean, listen, it was my best friend since I was kidding. That's a good gift. Uh, you know, I actually Was it a blackstone? Yeah, is it a blackstone? Yeah, is it a blackstone jagger? No, not an actual barbecue, like we had food. Not over rocks. I actually got my ex-husband a barbecue, like a nice one. A um, I I don't I don't know how to grill. What is it called? What's the good the good one's called? Uh no, Weber. I got him a Weber grill. No, I said black. There was like a this isn't even a good grill. I'm like, oh my god, you can't win with oh my god, is that water stains on my ceiling? On your brand new ceiling under your brand new roof. Let's hope they're water stains. I just like I feel like four things just came out of my mouth at the same time. It is so early. Wouldn't be the first. It's better than four things going in at the same time. Depends on you. For the record, I love my barbecue for my birthday. Good to save it. I'm really glad because that's what you got. Yeah, it must be nice. But it wasn't Manhattan like you. No, so my best friend since I was two years old. We haven't seen each other in a while. She just had a baby like last October, and so I had gone. So she's staying home late at night and being right. So I had gone there when when the baby was firstborn, and she feels bad that she hasn't been able to necessarily physically be there for me as much through everything. So she was like, and and that's our thing. Like, we love seeing shows together. We've done it for years. So she's like, Let me, I'm gonna take you to a show. So that was fantastic. My mom take taking me to a show. So uh yeah, I was in Manhattan, and I gotta say, I mean, it's always I feel like Carrie Bradshaw when I talk about New York. Like, I know that it's disgusting. I'm still in shock when I go there and I see that there's people from all over the world who are saving every penny of their savings to come visit the city, and I'm like, why? But there's still some sort of electricity to it. Like the energy in that city is like no other. It really is. I was out till like one o'clock in the morning. Haven't done that in years. I go see a show and you can just sit at home and watch Tubi. What's Tubi? Wow, it's a poor people thing. Don't worry about it. Yeah, it's not Broadway for sure. Just like Jagger eating his food off hot rocks. So did you have trouble getting home at that hour for Man Hack? No, so I ended up staying in the city that night, which is not something typically that I do because I live, you know, right by it. It's it's whatever. Um, but yeah, uh getting home can be tricky though. The Long Island Railroad. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. It was a beautiful night. What can I say? Um the Long Island Railroad, they were on strike a few weeks ago. I was getting a little bit nervous over there. Then I go into the city and I'm sitting on a brand new train. I'm like, oh, this entire new conspiracy, this entire um strike was just a ploy to throw out the new trains and ask for more money because of it. But then on the way home, I was on a very, very old and disgusting train. So I'm like, nope. They just threw out a few new ones. I got stuck in the city one time. Well, not in the city, but like I went to Manhattan. We stayed a little longer than we expected, and so we took the train back to Brooklyn. We were gonna get the Long Island Rail back to Long Island, and that had stopped running for the night. So I had to get a cab uh or an Uber. I don't even remember what it was. I think it was a regular cab. Back in your day, there was no Uber. No, no, there was a yellow cab with check marks. And uh God, it cost me 80 bucks to get from Brooklyn uh back to Glencoe. It's not cheap, yeah. And that's not even far, you know. Um, and it's funny because I actually took a yellow cab for the first time in a very long time because now Uber is like basically the only form of transportation. And uh I got in there, and you know, like what is the etiquette when you get we've talked about this with Uber drivers. Like, do you want someone that talks to you or not? Usually no, right? But I don't want one either. But when I was in the back of a haircut, or any massage, like, don't don't just touch me, don't talk to me. But like I'm in the back and I'm talking to my friends and I'm I'm keeping her up to date with like what's going on. This driver all of a sudden chimes and goes, huh. Yeah, divorce, right? I took my bitch wife for everything she has. I destroyed her life. My best friend goes, Really? Do you think this is helpful to the conversation right now? Also, do you think we believe you when you're driving an Uber at two o'clock in the morning that you took her for everyone? He's telling us how he owns 143 apartment buildings in Queens and he owns the cab company. And I'm thinking to myself, but why are you driving? He's like, Yeah, I'm in court all the time, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Oh, just fight it yourself. You don't need attorneys. Oh, I took the kids from her, too. And I'm like, what part of this conversation is screaming that A, you should chime in, and B, that I want you to basically be on the same side as my ex-husband and just keep berating me. I'm very confused. He's like, Yeah, you're going down. Oh my god. Where do you guys need to go? So, uh, yeah, everything was great except for that cab ride. I was like, nope, this is why people take Ubers now. Because you can leave a review. Did you withhold a tip? Did you withhold the tip? Um I always withhold the tip. Gotta make them make them wait for it. In my uh just becoming adult years, my friend and I thought it might be a good idea to just go to New York City without a plan. But you can. I think this is a city where you can. Well, we walked around all night and then we got really tired. We went to Blimpy, which I don't know if it's definitely nobody's anymore. There was a uh a shady hotel above the blimpy where um the guy's like behind a cage when you go in and he slips the key through. The room's like nine dollars. Yeah. No. Uh that's yeah, the room cost eighteen sixty-five. Um we get in there, it's one single bed. The sheets are just like thrown at the bottom of the bed, you have to make your own bed. There's no toilet, there's a community shower in the hotel. And uh it was hostile and a sink. So you know my friend, not one to want to walk anywhere other than necessary, uses the sink as the uh bathroom facilities. And I'm thinking to myself, you know, stop classing this place up like that. So needless to say, New York is an adventurous city and anything can happen. It is true. Any time of the day. My favorite was when the guy handed us the key and he's like, You two have a good night. Oh, so you Yeah, it was that kind of hotel. I guess it was by the way, I'm not even lying to you when I was there last weekend. What do you think I was Googling? I was looking for uh uh special kind of massage. I even Googled uh massages that have butterflies on the wall. It's good to have that in your search record. That's nice. I mean, why is it bad for me? How could I get arrested? I'm not the business. I'm just siding with the cab driver on everything for this. But I will say I so I did find one special massage place, but they were charging like $350, and I said, I'm doing the math of like uh how bad I need it, want it, just to check it off the bucket list, and I'm like, I feel like I could get this for free. Jagger, can you splurge to get internet that's better than DSL at any point during these podcasts? I think it might be yours. We're both seeing one guy get blurry all of a sudden and wait for you to do that. You know, I hate to side with him, but I don't think he's wrong. Yes. Believe me, if there were any chance to decide against me, Janet would be there. But you can't do it. Looking like water or in a video that was just sent from overseas. I think he was the cab driver, honestly. Slightly terrifying. Thank God there's an audio only version of this. The show budget is just you know not really there. So to get more internet. Really? Because I seem to have dropped a lot here. I don't uh disconnect. Janice seems fine. Yeah. Oh, we're making this very uncomfortable. He's frozen. No, I ordered a whole thing. We can stop talking about New York. Gotta work around this. It's hard enough to do this at the crack of dawn. Or whatever time you might be listening right now. But then you've got this going on. I ordered a whole extender. He did. But what about your computer? Oh my god. Did you quit smoking? Oh my god, you're getting crap all over me here. I've had the cold for three days. No, that I can't bel you know, I will say, it is terrible being sick in the summer. So and it's Jagger lives in Florida, yeah. But uh yeah, but that's the thing, is last summer I felt like my kid got strep or something, and yeah, being sick when it's nice out is no bueno. And it's probably not helpful by like the pollen and stuff. Well, that's what I was gonna say. It's a combination of the new allergens, too. So what I'm being told is have you guys heard this? When you move to a new place, you must eat the local honey. I was like eat a piece of a tree or something. I did not hear that. Yeah, they say the local honey will help you um get immune to the local allergens. Yeah, it's working good for you. I know, right? I mean, it is a thing. Honey industry conspiracy. Can you actually I sit there like Winnie the Pooh with no one? Jagger, I need you to do us a favor. Um, as our resident man on the street, I'm gonna need you to go and get raw honey from actual bees, no protection, just run on in there, grab the honey, test it out, let us know how it is. Also buy a protection under that. Awesome. Yeah. What? I'll rob those bees all day. Yellow jackets make money, right? So speaking now that it's nice out A and uh reminding me of like yellow jacket nests around the house. So last last year we had a wasp nest and it was like right under my little awning by my by my hot tub. Oh my god, it was it was terrifying. So I had a guy come spray it. Um my ex-husband was still living here, so he like bashed it at the time. They say to leave a little bit of it so like they know for next year, like don't come back. But now you're friends. Yeah now it's like the new season, and I'm looking at it. I'm like, I need to just like take a power washer or something and just like shoot that shit out of here because I'm so scared of them coming back and then God forbid getting in the house. Um, I actually have to power wash my whole house now that I think about it. Let me come do it. I was gonna say I love power washers. Okay, because that's perfect because A, I don't own a power washer, and I don't think my hose has enough strength for it. And I've paid someone because I have like you got those weak ass hose. Yeah, I need I need like the top part of my house, like the under area. Um, so come on over. Your uh your undercarriage needs to be. My undercarriage needs a little uh power washing. Understood. The first year I power washed my deck, I had it on so strong that as soon as I started blasting, I started carving into the wood. Not just taking the paint off. I actually started making indentation. I could have written it. No, they warn you about that because I um I have pavers because I had my roof redone and there was snow, obviously, so much gunk fell onto the pavers. So when spring started, I took my hose and started washing it. And they say be careful, like don't go into the cracks of the pavers too much because you could rip out the, I don't know if it's grout or concrete or whatever, but like you gotta wash it, watch it. Throwing a lot at me here, Janna. Hose, cracks, pavers. I'm so horny. These power washers, the same power washer that I used the first year that cut through not only the paint but the wood. Yesterday I had it out or the day before because a bird shit on our bedroom window like six months ago. And on the second floor, I'm like, you just look at it and like that sucks. So my wife's like, because I was watering my brand new garden that I spent the weekend putting in. Yeah. And I hear and it's her at the window pointing at the bird shit. And she's like, So I get the power washer and I'm like, mm-hmm. And she's like up, down, side, side. And I'm all pissed off like a little to the left, down. Is that what she does in the bedroom, too? Is that her directions for you? Stop, stop. Yeah, that's the only sign she's doing for you. Also, speaking of allergies, I'm in the doghouse this morning because last night I dared. Uh, instead of using air conditioning, it doesn't function when it's 55 outside. I opened the window. And I should have known better because she's on like four different inhalers. Oh my god. Like it's a whole system of inhalers for her. She's like Darth Vader sometimes. And I get this message no more windows open. My allergies are too bad for your bullshit. I mean, is she wrong? Uh I I just so we're gonna pay for air that doesn't work. Well, if but if it was cold out, did you even need to open the I mean I get it. I liked having the windows open, but uh I gotta have some air moving around, man. You know? I don't like that stanks. No, that's fair. Just not moving air. I like moving moving air. I like my air. What's that called wind? Easy breezy. What's that called? Yeah. Beautiful cover girl. I think I think she may have gone a little too harsh. I'm gonna stick with you on this one. I don't think you needed the word bullshit in the text. I mean, come on. Right. I may have added it myself. I still didn't need it though. Oh I doubt that she didn't said that. That's a normal conversation in what my relationships would be. That's why there's professional power washers. I mean, there's a whole industry. Well, yeah, so like that was my thing. So I have a two-story colonial, so like obviously it was very difficult for us to reach the top. I don't cook on rocks for my birthday. So uh we had someone come here a few years ago and power wash the back and power wash the house. Um, but now, you know, running solo, I'm like, okay, I'm not gonna pay that. So how do we get it done? And so I'm literally pulling my hose to the front of the house yesterday, and it was not reaching. My hose ain't long enough. Your finger over it for extra pressure. I did that. I did that, and it was it just it all backfired onto me. It's like okay. Yeah, I I have a little problem with hoses as well. Like the the nozzle part of it, the the trigger. I every year we buy one, and the next year I go to use it, and it's either suits shoots out the sides of the thing or doesn't come out at all. So I just use the regular hose and try to like be my own trigger and end up taking out like three rows of corn in the garden because I turned it into a power wash. So, what are you growing? So there's weed. Got it. No. Um, I am not. I am growing for some reason yellow squash because my wife got the plants. It always comes. Well, no, I hate it. It's not what I wanted. My wife saw zucchini, which I also hate, but one, I'll eat once a year fried planks from the garden. But she saw the sign zucchini, so she gets it and brings it home. And I'm like, what the hell is this yellow squash? And she's like, Oh no, it's it was under the zucchini sign. I was like, Yeah, but the thing jabbed in the dirt as a yellow squash, so that's what this is. And why'd you get eight of them? Well, the prices were so good at Brewbakers, I just I couldn't leave it there. I was like, you could have left it there. He could have. Because 48 hours of planting this stuff, by the time she gets home on day number two, she's like, Oh, it's looking good. And I'm just mud all over my face, sweating, sunburned, mad. Bush people. I'm like, do I look like Farmer Brown? What am I gonna do with all this crap? She's like, Well, some of it might die. And I'm like, What are you saying? I don't know how to garden. And that's exactly why I don't garden. Exactly why. I feel like it's so much effort and it's it's the maintenance too, and it's the upkeep of like making sure that certain bugs or bacteria don't get into it or or little critters, and then half of the time you put in double to get half. Right. So we figured a couple well, I figured a couple things out over the years. Number one, I put down a big thick tarp that I have to cut holes in to put the plants in, which is a pain in the ass, but in the end, it's nice because you don't have to figure out what is a weed and what is a plant. So that part's cool. I planted lettuce, corn, beefsteak, tomatoes. If you want to keep pests away, you put basil by the beefsteak, by any tomatoes or things that you want to keep pests away from in your garden. Anything mint or any basil type thing will actually do that. Yeah, mint's like a weed. It always comes back. Yeah. And somehow she found this chocolate lava mocha weed plant. And you smell it, and it's like you're smelling a chocolate cake. It's like I'm here for that. I've never looked at a plant like that and wanted to just devour it so much. I'm here for it. Yeah, grow me shit. I don't know how they do it. Like it's chocolate creme brulee mint or something like that. It's like right up Jenna's alley. I'm surprised she doesn't get served it while we're doing the podcast. Right, in my colonial two-story. Your house, you say colonial, that makes me think the house is like old. It totally is. No, isn't it no? That's the type of house it is. You know it's a style of house. It means that basically all the bedrooms are upstairs. I think that really is what it means. There's a staircase. That's all it means. Well, I'm downstairs and the bedrooms are upstairs. Well, you're in a basement right now. This is just called a basement. You're in a basement. But my but it has a window, so it can't be a basement. I mean, it is. My my basement has a window too. You just can't open it. No, it's got a window and a door, though. So I'm not all the way underground. Oh. The front part of it is completely underground. The back part is completely above. Well, I think you're just on a slant. How have you never gotten flooded? It might be a cellar. Oh no, this basement flooded bad before we moved here. That's how we got such a sweet deal. Nobody wanted it. It was like the only house on the market during COVID. We'll take it. Sold. So yeah, as uh a roof was just put on ours as well. So Janet had to get a new roof. I had to get a new roof. I know, but what I'm seeing on the ceiling is questionable. So Jagger just needs to buy straw once a year and he's good to go with it. That sounds like the life. Yeah, I'm gonna come harvest behind you to get my came yesterday, huffed and puffed, and blew his house down. Yeah. Not me, little piggy. You're looking pretty dapper today. I like the new hat. Thank you. Thank you. Yes, uh, thanks to our friends at Roundhouse Harley Davidson. Right. Actually something. And thank you. Yeah, people have uh Do you have a specific closet just for your hat collection? I have. I used to just throw them on the floor next to my chair, and that pissed my wife off. So she of course found on like Temu or whatever the f it is. Uh these like Oh, you have like a rack. Yeah, but it's like one black L made of metal, and you're supposed to put like ten hats on it. So then I did and ran out of space and started throwing the hats on the floor that didn't fit. I come home and then there's another one. So there's like two of these things sticking out at me at my own. Like I think it's thoughtful and it's also in her best interest because she doesn't want to see it on the floor. That's that's what it is. Thoughtful of the floor. Why can't it be two things? It can't be two things. It can't be two things. Ever. So Jagger, what exciting things have you done? Janna's gone to plays, hopscotched around Manhattan. Um, I've been doing a lot of like yard work and chores, and nothing as exciting as a Janna Banana lifestyle. It just reminds me my life is lame. I know, right? I'm trying to think like what could I possibly do that e equates that? Like go to the street. Absolutely nothing. Yeah. Destin's not like Manhattan. It is fancy and nobody can afford to live there, so it's kind of like Manhattan. It is, yeah. It is true. It is. It's funny how like you look at in New York at least, like you look at buildings, and some can be aesthetically beautiful on the outside, some can be hideous on the outside, some can be super decorated, engraved um stone from the 1800s, and yet they're all through the roof expensive. Like in Pittsburgh, if you get an Airbnb from the outside, it's it's like a Fawkes a noodles place or whatever. And then you go in it, you're like, what's this place gonna be like? You walk in and it looks like a mansion inside, everything's redone. But surrounding you is gunfire and sadness. And the Steelers. Yeah, and the Steelers. And the pirates pirates next door to each other. My only regret is there's no subway system or public transportation to Dustin. You gotta drive in the traffic here. That's because you're below sea level. Well, they could figure it out, damn it. That would be fun in under the water train. That's submarine way. But imagine, imagine you had this um transportation system, but it was similar to like an aquarium because you got to see underwater. That'd be so awesome. That is, she's on it. Look, now she's gonna get richer. Like perfect. How long can we hang on to her? Can't keep her on the farm. Hopefully not long. I have here's the thing. I have all these ideas in life, and very few follow through. Desire to follow them all. Not a lot of execution. I did I did start writing a novel over the weekend, by the way. Wait, what? What? I'm sorry, Stephen King said what? No, you know what's funny. What's going on, VC Andrews? What are you doing? Because I have felt like I've lived nine lives, you know? I'm not making this a memoir, by the way. Obviously, no one gives a shit about me. Um but I feel like just the arc of my life, I started off going to school for theater, right? Like lived a wild childhood and and adolescence. Then I go live this radio lifestyle, and then I go start working for corporate America, and then put on top of it the shitstorm that has been my personal life over the past 15 years, specifically the past like year alone. And like people have said to me, they're like, it f like at least the story of since I separated from my husband, what has transpired, they're like, that feels like it's an episode of um a soap opera. And I'm just thinking to myself, this could be something. I could write a fictional novel about this. You should call it unloved. I love that because I I I am a foodie. Don't take it. You're gonna say I will not pray uh about some of these things, but I am unloved. Can you just read the first sentence of the book for us? Thank you. Oh, you happen to have it handy? Well, hello, everything's on the phone now. Uh to Jojo and Jagger. The uh No. No, honestly, okay. So, first of all, I should preface it by saying I have a degree in communication, obviously. I talk for a living um, but I also was the features editor of my school paper. I've been writing my whole life. I did poetry contests when I was young. Like, I really do enjoy writing, and obviously, since you guys love to shit on what I would do on social media, like, but people do say great way with words. So I thought, why not? So, so this, okay, listen. I particularly love the crying selfies. The crying selfie, I think, is where it's at. And remind me of that girl, that the person that was like, free breaky. It's keeping it real. Keeping it real. The fact that the fact that I'm hysterically crying, and then all of a sudden I can think to myself, let me just take a picture. Wait, get the phone. Quick. Yeah, exactly. And I'm like, and then I'm just like, all right, now I can go back to my depression. Um, so I'm just gonna read I want everyone to see that I'm sad and now I can go back to my depression. I'm gonna read you just the first paragraph. Just a tip. Okay. Okay. Yeah. The kitchen island in the new house was made of calcetta. I'm done here. You know what? We'll see how it pans out, then I'll read it for you. We're not healthy enough to do anything funny. It really does sound like he smokes two packs a day. I know. Maybe I shouldn't sleep at the window of the house. Maybe, yeah, maybe Boopy's onto something. What the hell's coming up in our air? Alright, sorry, go ahead. It was 1845. Should I really? Should I really? Yeah, go ahead. Go ahead. DM Island in the new house was made of Calicata marble, slot through with thick, dramatic veins of gray that looked like lightning frozen in stone. To Julian, it was a triumph, a physical receipt proving he had arrived. To Leah, it just felt cold. Who are these people? You'd wrote you're writing a fiction book? I thought it was a memoir. I'm using real life and making a fictional book. Fucking shit. And of course, the the countertop is veiny, right to start off. You know, I here's the thing is oh, if I want someone to read it, I want them to be like, oh, Jenna really is in this book. Right. I actually shouldn't have cut you off. I'm actually in. Go. Oh, really? That wasn't the whole paragraph. That was the whole paragraph, but I can keep going until you tell me to shut up. Yes, please. Okay. All right. So so now JoJo uh on the go does readings. Um, I'll record readings for people. Like I love what I love listening to books where people uh narrate them, so I would love to narrate for people. Okay, so anyway. She I'm gonna book you a Barnes and Noble. She stood at the sink washing her daughter's bottles, watching the water swirl down the drain. The house still smelled of fresh paint, high-end floor sealant, and the distinct expensive scent of Julian's ambition. It was their dream home, a sprawling suburban colonial with a manicured lawn that cost more per month than Leah's entire department budget at the civil service office. What's the point of working this hard if we aren't going to actually enjoy the life we're building, Leah? Julian's voice echoed from the living room, followed by the heavy rhythmic thud-thud of his walking boot. His recent foot surgery had grounded him physically, but it hadn't slowed his appetite for expansion. When do they start banging? Yeah, there is there is sex. I'm not making it a sex novel, but there will be mentions of sex. Mentions we'll use code words. Of course. The counter was cold and veiny. They they dingled each other's berries. I don't know why that just came back. It's just funny. That's the worst sex scene ever. NC and NC. Listen, this is all this is all uh to be edited. I don't want that book released until Dingled Each Other's Berries is actually written into it in some way, shape, or form. Speaking of berries, we gotta thank our friends at Pizza Night. Please sell berries at Pizza Knight. I was just on the phone with Pizza Knight the other day. Were you? Yeah, I was talking to Pizza Nick from Pizza Knight. I was um doing some top secret negotiations of uh I can't talk about it. Oh, but pizza night, please. Did you call them on Sicilian Thursday? I uh no, I didn't want to bother them during Sicilian Thursday. Well you shouldn't because folks are getting a massive Sicilian pie for under $20. Or you can go all out, get unlimited toppings for $21.99. And their garlic parm pepperoni balls, uh they're just as good as berries. You can give that a good if you haven't had those yet. You're really missing out. You can add that to the mix and match deal $6.99. Uh at Pizza Night, there at Beale Avenue, right there in Blair County, $814-943-7000. That's $814-943-7000 at Pizza Knight. Pizza Knight. Thank you. Also, my house is clean thanks to our friend at Tri Luna Royal Cleaning in Altoona. Residential and home. And as usual, I don't have the phone number in front of me. It's just a thing that I like to do for them to show them my support. These are all the notes from my day job that I never refer to when I'm confused. So that's not gonna do me any good at all. Don't know why I'm going through it. That's Tri Luna Cleaners at 814-895-3038. 814-895-3038. Tri Luna Royal Cleaning. Tri Luna. That's a good jingle. He's well cut up. Yeah. He's gonna come soon, yeah. It came from a little something in the 80s that sounded like this. By Menon. See, I got that. Janna probably's never heard that before. What? I knew that one was gonna go like this with Jana and Jenny were gonna be like not a claim. Costanza. Oh, is it from Seinfeld? Well, they stole it from Menon. Okay. Yeah, it was a deodorant company. Oh my god. Now I gotta find the commercial. So you know what's crazy? Speaking of deodorants, I got a story for anything, really. Speaking of deodorant, I know, like speaking of snails, like check out these plays. So I don't know if I I watch a lot of YouTube, so I've been seeing this um ad for a hundred-hour deodorant. A hundred hours. That sounds like a lofty question. Well, first of all, my my thought is who isn't showering for a hundred hours to actually find that out, but I'm so intrigued by it. Oh, right. That's my wife's one shower. So I I ordered it and uh one hundred hours long. Oh that makes sense. So I ordered it and now I'm curious about it, but it's making me go down rabbit holes of like, so how are they testing this? Wait. How much does deodorant that's good for a hundred hours cost? Uh it was like a deal where it was like five for fifty dollars. So I thought that was pretty good. I mean, how much is it? And just like let me pull the trigger on that. Did I totally mess up here? So wait a second. If one application you get a hundred hours, why the hell do you need five sticks in your lifetime? Well, I I guess that was like the well, regardless, I I ordered it, it's a subscription, I guess I can cancel it. So I definitely gave into it. I gave into it. A subscription to subscription to deodorant? They got a subscription for everything now. They want to get you. That's true. People are gonna not sit next to you on the train because you're gonna trust that deodorant and smell like onions. When I work out, I love to sweat. That's how I get the edge. But afterwards, I want to feel dry. So speed and perspirant gives me an edge too. It goes on dry. Man size protection and just a few. Whatever game you're in. Man-size protection and a few strokes. Wait for it. Super dry antiperspirant. Yeah, no, I can confidently say I've never seen that before. No, but I don't normally use antiperspirant because it has aluminum in it, so I use natural deodorant, and then I realize this hundred. Oh, so you always stink. I know I never stink. The one that I have is tremendous. I wouldn't sell it to anybody. I don't know. I don't know what's wrong with you. I'm sorry. But anyway, so I found out this isn't antiperspirant, so I'm like, great, I just spent $50 and I don't even want to use this, but I'm gonna so I bought something once because uh our friend Howard talked about it. Lumi deodorant. Oh yeah, no, I did too. I've used that before. Yeah, that's stuff shit. It doesn't work at all. The most recent one that I just bought, it it is expensive. It's like twenty dollars for a roller, but it works and it lasts all day. What about the folks like celebrities, Gwyneth Paltrow or Brad Pitt, whoever, they just don't use any deodorant. The world seems okay with that. Does the stain go away? Some people say they rub lemons on themselves or like rubbing alcohol. I don't know. I don't know. Some people say a million dollars makes people not care. Or maybe they get Botox in their armpits so they literally don't sweat, which I don't think is good for you. It's a detox. These people have too much money. Botox in your armpits. It should be like me and you secret. That's what I use. You use women's secret? You're injecting yourself with botulism so you won't sweat out of your arms? I I don't understand. Yeah, yeah. Or so you can look like this. Yeah. Right. I don't know. Listen, I already got lines. I got lines, but I consider them personality lines, so they're not going away. Well, good for you. Nice. That's one way to look at it. Yeah. Or if there's a drought, we could put little creeks in there and one day. One day. My tears will actually go up. I call them your life ditches. There you go. Exactly. Life ditches. Bury me in all of them. All right. Let's bury this episode, guys. Jojo on the go. Thanks to our sponsors, and thanks to you. Don't forget to go to JojoWorldwide.com, JojoWorldwide.com by Menon, and you can uh book us for your private parties. Also, we're looking for sponsors for the podcast because we have a big announcement coming up. So uh you can buy merch. We've got t-shirts, we've got hats, we've got t-shirts right here. You can get that one or not, it's up to you. Thank you so much, guys. Jagger, Jana, yours truly JoJo. We'll be back next time, like it or not. JoJo on the Go. It's presented by Pizza Knight Altuna. Get the stove and the dishes and make tonight a pizza night. Place your order. Call 814-943-7000. Thank you to our sponsors, Holiday Pools and Spa, Try Luna Royal Cleaner, and Parlor Donut. A fresh new episode of JoJo on the go is coming soon from the Holiday Pools and Spa studios. In the meantime, head to JojoWorldwide.com for merchandise, mobile DJ services, bonus content, social media links, and even more ways to listen.